I’ve been back for just about 6 months and the little tug on my heart when I look at pictures of Thailand hasn’t gone away. I get awful butterflies when I watch fights or see an endless stream of Thai selfies.
Wait what- awful butterflies?
Yeah. Awful. That fluttering feeling you get when you want something so badly, but you can’t have it. Awful butterflies.
I had hoped they would fade away, but they’ve only become manageable. So, I’ve made a promise to myself that I will go back. I don’t know when and I don’t know how, but I will get there and I will make up for all the fights and training hours and memories that are, for the moment, on hold.
In the meantime-
I am so lucky to have had the chance to live there for a year. I have grown so much as a human being in that time, faced challenges I never dreamed I would face- running away from stray dogs… trying to rent a moped from a place that doesn’t rent mopeds… fighting a girl
I have a kick ass job at my gym in America, Khanomtom Muay Thai. I recently wrote a blog for them relating to the question any who has ever trained Muay Thai gets – Why do you train Moo Thai?
I wrote about my personal beginning and why I started/continued. Just a short snippet. (Check it out if you’re interested- The Heart of a Nak Muay) One of the reasons I didn’t touch on is this sense of community, more than that.. family. Your gym, your camp is your family. You spend hours together working on this one insane dream or workout or regimen, whatever you want to call it. You bond with everyone through the good days and the days the rain never seems to end.
What could be better than giving back to this family, maintaining it and helping it to grow?
This gym, the people at this gym have given me strength when I thought I had none left, showed me smiles and laughter will never run out, and offered help whenever I’ve needed it. I’m pretty happy to share this with others and expand our family.
And to keep myself in balance with who I am, I am also back working at Anthropologie. No, I don’t deal with bones and humans in the desert. I work with humans in retail! Before I moved to Thailand I was the personal stylist and although I do not hold that position any more, I am happy as a clam bouncing around the store making people feel beautiful! It’s a bonus I also get to dress up and remember I am still a girl who loves to play with clothes and homey things.
Both of my jobs embody exactly what I love doing- providing an environment in which people feel confident and happy being themselves, to give others a place to improve through fitness, healthy eating, or simply adding a belt to a dress to show off their figure. I never want someone to feel how I used to feel. I never want there to be a lack of confidence in someone I am helping. And currently, I have the opportunity to try to foster that confidence in and out of the ring.
Pretty sweet life.