I’ve continued to fight because I love how it makes me feel. You feel all the feels. The ups, the downs, fear, anxiety, excitement, butterflies, confidence, everything. And you’re supposed to, if I didn’t have moments of anxiety or moments where I was afraid, I’d be missing a big part of fighting. You have to go through all of these emotions. It makes you human. Sure, you can put on a big tough guy act and not show it, but the emotions are still there. It’s all about how far you push yourself. Taking ownership of your fear or anxiety or whatever, acknowledging it, but looking beyond it, looking to your confidence for strength and fighting anyway. That’s what I love about fighting. Pushing myself beyond what some may perceive as limits.
I wrote this as part of an answer for why I started and continued fighting. I’m approaching my fourth fight and have been reflecting on different things written, events, training days, just this whole fight camp in general. I have certainly felt all the feels this fight camp. I’ve never trained for a fight this long or have been pushed this hard. I’ve never had to weight cut before or deal with an annoying injury. It’s been an interesting few weeks, an interesting few weeks that I would have never made it through without the support of my friends and family.
I’ve had help in every aspect of my life, from nutrition to technique, cardio to keeping my sanity. When you’re preparing for a fight, you’re never preparing alone. If you don’t have a singular trainer that rules your nutrition and workouts, you need to reach outside. It takes asking for help, overcoming any guilt or frustration associated with asking and just doing it. Asking for help. It’s so strange what that does to people. It’s a simple thing, but in someway it evokes such different feelings- weakness, inadequacy, fear, sometimes even arrogance. Asking for help doesn’t make you less of a man or woman, it makes you more. You are accepting that there are things out of your control, things you don’t understand, things you aren’t quite sure of, and making an active effort to fix that.
No one is going to baby you, take your hand, and walk you to the ring. You have to get up every morning and put in the work. You have to deserve their help. If people are going to take time from their lives to help you reach a goal, you had better make damn sure you put every ounce of your being into making it worth it.
I feel like this translates into everyday life outside of training. Going through life alone is hard. Now, I’m not saying alone time isn’t fantastic and that sitting reading a book while sipping a cup of tea isn’t good for your soul, but if you find you are just going through life superficially without engaging with the people around you, something’s wrong. That being said, you have to again deserve the engagement. No one wants to sit and chat with a debbie downer, or someone who sucks the life out of you. Everyone has there own problems and things they are dealing with, but that doesn’t mean we all can’t help each other with a little smile. See obstacles as challenges. See problems as adventures. Engaging with a person who has this outlook on life makes helping them easy, even rewarding. No one is going to walk you to the solution or physically shove you in the right direction. You need to show up in life everyday being the best you, you can be that way when you do need to reach out for a helping hand, it will be there.
With all that being said, I have some of the best family and most amazing friends in the world. They have put up with my mood swings, my anxieties, my craziness weirdness, everything. And I’m going to do my best to make them all proud Saturday night. Thank you doesn’t begin to cover it. Ya’ll have never stopped believing in me and that is a debt I can never fully repay, but I’ll work everyday to try to. ❤