I want to live a passionate life. I want to be happy. I want to be inspired.
I took a month off work to visit my boyfriend in Thailand three months ago.
I quit my job, a job that I had been wanting since I had started working, to gamble on finding my true niche.
I was a personal stylist for a few weeks, a sales associate with extreme attention on customer care and styling for almost a year, and now I am blogging, googling, writing, sharing, my story online. I’m taking some me time, which is very hard when you have a lot of time to just.. think about yourself and your life.
I left my gym, my second home, and now continue to train Muay Thai here. When I started learning a year ago, I had no intention of fighting. I had always wanted to give it a go, just for fun, so I signed up for a month and ended up basically moving in, attending any class I could, almost everyday. It was great fitness. It was fun. And then I fell in love with it. Having a lot of confidence issues, I struggled daily with myself, with others, with my decisions, with my non-decisions, with everything. Socially awkward. I found strength in Muay Thai. It doesn’t matter how pretty you are, how well spoken you are, how charismatic. It doesn’t matter if you’re the loudest, the smartest, your background doesn’t matter. What matters is how much you put into it. What matters is your passion, commitment. When you stand in the ring, it won’t matter who has the most fans or who looks better, it’ll only matter who wants it more. Muay Thai is beautiful, the technique, the flow, the dance. I find strength in Muay Thai, a certain confidence. I had my first fight last week. I start training again today.
I’m not sure where this journey will lead me. Cliche. Yes. But the truth. Picking up and leaving without real goodbyes has been difficult. I have a lot of loose ends at home, but making this jump was something I needed to do. It was like climbing to the top of a cliff and jumping off without thinking, having a sharp intake of breath and waiting for the cold water. I’m still falling, still on the ride. When I land, I hope I find everything I’ve been searching for, a passion, like where ever I land is where I was meant to.
I have been described as the most feelingest of feelings girl in the world, this is my way of working through it all.
A year later or so-
I still feel the same, still falling, still riding the roller coaster. And I’m totally okay with that. I’ve realized I never will lead a cookie cutter life. I don’t want the 9-5, I don’t want a house in the suburbs, and even tho they’re cute and fun and everyone seems to be getting one right now… I don’t need the new apple watch. What did you think I was going to says a child? Yeah, no. Definitely not even on the radar right now. I’m 25 and still figuring “it” all out. I may always be figuring things out- changing, creating and then recreating myself.
I’ve moved back from Thailand, with the dream of heading back and then traveling all over the world. I am still training Muay Thai and have fought 2x since I first wrote this bio. I will fight again next month and continue to here in the States. I am working in retail again and happy to be. I am working at my Muay Thai gym. Things are looking up. I am ready for where ever this crazy roller coaster brings me next.
I am still the girl with the most feelingest of feelings, so stick around with me. Maybe we’ll share some similar stories or you’ll have some advice or maybe, possibly with a slim chance, you may learn something from my journey.